(ATBA NEWS AGENCY)
January 10, 2020
Conflicts around the world came to an immediate halt upon the news that The Union of Farting Airedales, a rogue group that eats primarily Pork N Beans N BACON, has threatened to fart the entire planet out of existence unless it stops shooting and bombing and saying stupid things and instead throws a ball or stick more.
Also BACON.
World leaders, holding their noses, hastily agreed to capitulate to the ultimatum.
Although chemical weapons have officially been banned by war treaties across the planet, somehow AireFarts have been overlooked.
Hence the White Flag has been raised everywhere.
The situation has raised a real dilemma. What will everyone do if they are not busy hurting and killing each other?
The group's spokesdog Arthur The Dead Airedale, had a swift reply: "Throw the f***ing ball...and don't forget the BACON."
(Filed at the Fort Erie, Canada field office)
